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Most kids, at one time or another, try to fake a note from their parents. It might be because they want to skip school for the day, it might be because they’ve hidden a bad report card from their mom and dad, or it might be because their parents won’t let them go on that awesome overnight trip.
Unfortunately, that’s the only experience most adults have with faking a note. So if the time ever comes when they desperately need to create a fake doctor’s note, they’re working from a very poor experiential background – they’re relying on what they learned as kids, and their excuse letters usually show it.
If you find yourself in the situation where you need to create, or download, a fake doctor’s note, here are some important pointers about what it should contain.
The note should be printed on good quality paper, not the cheap stuff you might buy in a 1000-sheet package at Office Depot. Have you ever seen a real doctor’s letter on that flimsy white stuff? Probably not.
The note should have authentic names and addresses, logos, graphics and even watermarks, so that it carries the full weight of a real letter written by a real doctor or hospital. Making it look like “the real thing” is often the key to whether it’s accepted without a challenge.
The medical language and grammar should be correct and appropriate. The grammar part is obvious, but doctors don’t write like patients; for example, they wouldn’t write “heart attack,” they’d write “myocardial infarction” or “MI” instead. A little bit of online research will give you the right words to use.
There’s no need to “overwrite” the note unless it’s being used to cover a long absence. Plenty of detail is appropriate for a fake hospital discharge report, but not for a clinic note written by an overworked staffer, who is simply explaining the case of strep throat which forced you to miss a day of work.
The fake doctors note should be believable. It’s unlikely that a 65-year old gets a torn ACL (which is usually suffered by athletes), but it’s easy to believe that she fell down her front steps and broke her foot. Conversely, a 22-year old probably isn’t going to be believed if he presents a fake doctors excuse from a cancer doctor, while it would seem plausible if a 52-year old turned in that same excuse letter. (He’d probably get extra-special sympathy and treatment at work, too.)
Fake doctors’ notes can be a lifesaver when you have to explain an absence from work or school, but if they’re prepared carelessly they can cause you more serious problems than an just an unpaid day, a reprimand or detention. Be careful and pay attention to detail, and you should skate without a hitch.Read More
So a friend has suggested, perhaps in jest, that you should just use a fake doctor’s note in order to get off the hook for that “unscheduled vacation day” you took yesterday, after a night of heavy partying. Sounds like a good idea, even after the euphoria of the night and the hangover of the next day have both worn off.
But where in the world can you actually get a fake doctor’s letter?
There are several options, even though some of them are pretty risky. Let’s take a look at them.
You might come up with this idea after watching a bad movie or TV show, or might think of it in complete desperation. Think again. On TV or in the movies, it’s easy to skulk around a clinic or doctor’s office, smoothly slink into an empty office, and lift a prescription pad or some stationery. Or, you could fake an illness, get inside the office, and grab what you need while the examining room is empty.
Unfortunately, it’s not that easy. That sort of paperwork is rarely left unguarded, and doctors’ offices and hospitals are always on the lookout for people who should be there, doing things they shouldn’t be doing. Then, you’re not looking at a problem at work – you’re looking at a problem in court.
Download a free doctors note template online
That sounds a lot easier and certainly not as dangerous as actual theft would be. Very true, but it’s usually not going to do the trick. The problem is that human resources workers, bosses, teachers and administrators see a lot of excuse notes, both legitimate and fake. And the reason that the “free doctors excuses” are free to download – is that they’re really not very believable.
Very little care went into the preparation of free notes. There’s probably little or no detail on them, and chances are that the person you’re giving your fake doctor letter to has already seen that exact same letter many times before. You may not be in court after using one of those cheap downloadable excuse letters, but you may be in the unemployment office.
Buy one from a reputable, trustworthy internet site that specializes in fake doctors’ notes
This is always the best option for several reasons. First of all, preparing fake excuse letters is all the company does, so they have years of experience in knowing what details must go into the excuse notes. They’ll have completely believable letters or medical reports with logos, proper wording, even watermarks and photos at times.
Secondly, they’ll offer complete packages of fake notes from a wide range of doctors, dentists, clinics, hospitals and specialists; the best sites even have things like religious excuses, realistic funeral pamphlets and jury duty notices so you can pick what fits your situation best.
Finally, they know what works, with all the feedback they’ve gotten from satisfied customers. That way you can be sure that the notes you’re buying have worked for others, and will work for you.
Lots of people can talk their way out of just about anything. We all know those people; they’re glib, they’re charming, and if they miss a day’s work they can probably find a way to escape not only without a warning, but with their boss thanking them for all of their good work over the year.
Most of us aren’t like that. When confronted with a problem like a boss demanding to know why we weren’t at the office yesterday, we sweat, stammer and pray a lot before swallowing hard and taking our medicine.
Fake doctor notes were created just for people like us. We have almost no chance of slipping and sliding our way through life – we need help. The kind of help that’s easily obtainable by simply getting a reasonable excuse letter.
What kinds of jams can fake doctors excuses get you out of? The list is almost endless; here are just some of the possibilities:
When you’ve really been sick: Many times you wake up and just don’t feel good. You’re not sick enough to go to the doctor, you’re just sick enough to stumble to the kitchen, drink some orange juice or tea, take some aspirin, and crawl back into bed. On days like that, you’re not going to be getting a doctor’s note to give to the boss, even if you really felt awful, and even if you’re required to show one in order to be paid for a sick day. A good fake note can solve that issue quickly and easily.
When you’ve had to “sleep it off”: Let’s face it, it happens. You’re out having a good time – in fact, too good a time. You wake up with a splitting headache and there’s no way you can deal with work. No doctor is going to give you an excuse for that (unless you were partying with them the night before). Answer? A fake physician’s note.
When you have a household or family appointment or emergency: Everyone wants to be a good parent and spouse, and that means you may be faced with a mid-day teacher’s conference, an ill wife or husband, a broken water heater that’s flooding your basement, or an unexpected run to the emergency room. Some companies are very understanding in situations like this. Many are not. There’s no reason you should be punished for attending to important personal situations, and a fake doctor letter can let you do what you need to do while avoiding docked pay, notes in your personnel file, or worse.
When you just need time off: It’s nice when an employer allows you a certain number of personal days each year. Unfortunately, most still don’t, even though we’ve all had those days when we just need to recharge our batteries. Whether it’s a day at the beach, extra time in bed, an outing to the casino or a day with the family, we all need that break every once in a while. When your bosses can’t (or won’t) understand that, a fake doctor’s note can get you that “mental health day” everyone just has to take every so often.
It’s too bad that common sense illnesses, problems or emergencies sometimes require a little creative thinking in order to get off without a slap on the wrist or a whack to the wallet. But it happens, and that’s when fake doctor’s excuses are a terrific fallback to have.
At first glance, it seems a bit crazy that someone could make a mistake when using a fake doctor note. After all, when you’re really sick and have a real excuse letter, you hand it in and go about your business. Case closed. Why should it be any different with a fake one?
After giving it a bit of thought, though, you could probably come up with at least one or two potential stumbling blocks that people run into – and there are more that might not occur to you. One category has to do with the actual excuse note, while the other is more a matter of basic human nature.
Don’t Be Nervous
We’ll look at the human nature problems first. Many professionals, from law enforcement officials to pro poker players, closely observe everyone they deal with in the course of their job. They learn how to tell pretty easily when people are lying and when they’re telling the truth. For police, it’s essential to separate the innocent from the guilty; for poker players, it’s how they know when to fold and when to go all in. Another group of professionals usually able to distinguish between truth and lies are human resource workers and bosses. It’s part of their job to know whether to trust employees, so they’re likely to carefully scrutinize both a doctor’s note and the person handing it in.
That’s where we come to human nature. The majority of people are honest, and if they’re forced by circumstances to tell a lie or do something they’re not comfortable with, it shows in their demeanor. That’s a great quality to have – unless you’re trying to get away with using a fake doctor’s note. In that case, your behavior can easily tip off your boss that he’d better take a closer look at that document.
The best advice is well-known to those who regularly run afoul of the law: believe what you’re saying, and don’t talk too much. If you convince yourself that your fake excuse letter is legitimate, your actions won’t create any reason for anyone else to be suspicious. And if you just use the fewest words necessary to tell your boss that you were sick and here’s the documentation, chances are slim that you’ll start stuttering or say something you shouldn’t. Act like it’s real, and people will believe it.
Pay Attention To The Details
There are two very common mistakes people make when it comes to the actual fake doctor excuse.
The first error is just downloading any old fake doctors excuse template from the internet, scribble your name on it, and hand it in. Most of the templates circulating on the web are sketchy at best and have probably been used by other employees at your workplace before. They’ll stick out like a neon sign to anyone who’s dealt with human resource issues for any length of time. What you need is a professionally-produced template, from one of the few reputable sites that actually deals with this subject full time.
The second mistake is not paying attention to the type of note you’re going to be using, what it’s going to look like, and what details need to be included. You can use the best fake doctor’s excuse template in the world, but if you print it out on a flimsy 8 ½ by 11 piece of paper, it won’t look real. The same type of paper or stationery that’s actually used by doctors is what you need in order to make your note appear legit.
Once you’ve handled that detail properly, you need to closely look at the fake note itself to see what information needs to be written in. Names, diagnoses, suggested courses of treatment, follow-up appointments or other medical information often must be included, and it needs to be written in appropriate medical language without being too informal or wordy, or grammatically incorrect. Don’t go overboard, but be sure that you’ve covered all the bases.
Fortunately, if you get your fake doctors letter from a responsible site, they’ll include detailed instructions on what needs to go onto the note, along with suggested wording. Don’t be hasty. Do it all right, and you’ll have a fake medical excuse that even a doctor would be proud of.